Jeff Catanese's Other "Bio"

Jeff Catanese (Oscar Madison) – Since the unfortunate incident at the arachnid circus, Jeff has spent most of his time scouring antique shops for misidentified Picassos.  In the past he has played such diverse characters as Man in Shop, Guy in Store, and Fellow in Retail Establishment.  Jeff recently attained absolute enlightenment, but lost it on a three-day cheese-bender.  Jeff credits his longevity in the theater to not dying.  In the future, he hopes to be a gelatinous blob that rules quadrant AE-6. 

Yes, that was the bio actually submitted by Odd Couple star Jeff Catanese. We didn't print it in the playbill - we chose to use his directing bio from The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee instead - and now are hearing clucks of disapproval.  Well, maybe just one cluck.  Maybe just from Jeff.  

We love you, Jeff!